Do's and Don'ts

DO

  • Listen and be supportive.

  • Express your concern for the person's welfare.

  • Try to generate potential options or solutions.

  • Encourage help-seeking behaviors, such as talking to others, or using available campus or community resources.

  • Call Counseling Services at (973) 290-4175 to seek advice from a professional counselor for your friend or for yourself in supporting your friend. You may call anonymously.

  • Get immediate help if you think the person may harm her/himself or another. Call (973) 540-0100, the 24-hour hotline at Morristown Memorial Hospital, or 911 for the police and ambulance if you feel the person is at risk of hurting themselves or someone else.

DON'T

  • Ignore the problem and hope it will go away.

  • Judge, preach, or pressure.

  • Become a person's only support system.

  • Keep a confidence if you feel you are in over your head as a helper, or assess the person as dangerous to self or others.

Concerned Parents

We understand how exciting, yet difficult, it is for you to let your daughter experience independent living for the first time. She will make many decisions in her years at CSE, and we all hope she makes the best ones possible.

If you feel your daughter is struggling emotionally, with her decision-making abilities, her stress level, her relationships, or with family circumstances, please feel free to let us know by calling (973) 290-4175 and speaking with a counselor. The more information we have in working with a student the more assistance we can provide.

If your daughter is 18 years of age or older, she is legally considered an adult and is protected by confidentiality. We may not acknowledge that she seeks our services without her written permission.

We also may not force her to seek our assistance unless she is in danger of harming herself or another, or is mandated for a serious violation of college policy. In these circumstances, Counseling Services initiates assisting the student.

Concerned Faculty and Staff

We would like to encourage you to refer students who are struggling with multiple stresses and personal issues to Counseling Services. We offer confidential, individual counseling sessions to students free of charge. The staff frequently consults with faculty, staff, and students about students they are concerned about.

If you are concerned about any of the students you interact with, whom you feel require additional attention beyond what you are able or trained to provide, you may wish to refer them to us. As counseling professionals, we are most grateful for your confidence in us as a referral source in assisting students. We view the referral process as one of mutual concern for the individual. Some of the most common reasons to refer a student to us are as follows:

  • Inability to complete assignments
  • Excessive class or exam absences
  • Indecision about future goals or plans
  • Inability to concentrate in class
  • Suspicion of substance abuse
  • Suspicion of eating disorder
  • Inappropriate classroom or social behavior
  • Abrupt decline in academic performance
  • Student's self-disclosure of a personal problem
  • Suspicion of victim of abuse
  • Expresses desire for self-improvement
  • Difficulties in relationships
  • Difficulty adjusting to college
  • Frequent crying
  • Decline in personal grooming
  • Social isolation

Through our experience, we have found some effective strategies in referring students to our services, which may increase the likelihood of their seeking counseling. These are as follows:

  1. Give students positive reasons for your referral. Try to point out the benefits of attending counseling and working toward behavior change or self-improvement. This will minimize the possible stigma associated with help-seeking behavior. If the environment permits, offer the use of your telephone to make their first appointment by calling x4175. You may also call us and offer to walk them over to Founders Hall, ground floor, where we are located.

  2. We recommend that rather than referring a person to Counseling Services or to a therapist in general, it is helpful to refer to the counselors by name, for instance, "Perhaps you should discuss these issues with Sharon, or Gina in counseling." In this manner, we are personalized and not threatening unknown entities.

  3. Once a student has made an appointment, you may suggest that they let you know how things worked out. In this way, you show them your continued concern for their welfare. If students wish, they may reveal the contents of a counseling session. We are bound by confidentiality and may not reveal whether or not someone has sought our services at any time, without her written permission to do so.

We are here to promote student development and to assist you in doing so. If you have difficulty with a student or have concerns for a student who will not seek counseling, please let us know. There may be other ways to reach out to the student.

We have many off-campus referrals available. We are also available for crisis intervention if a student's safety or the safety of others is in danger.

Please do not hesitate to call us for assistance at x4175.